x_Because you said you love me_x

Lolx~

2011-10-16T19:17:00.002+08:00

Just realized that I havent blogged a single entry this year except on the 1st of January.
Tsk tsk.
Shall blog a short entry today.
Recap of the whole year.
Work has been the same stagnant, if not, worst in my case.
Still unable to adapt to the management style of my nurse manager.
But I shall strive on.
My passion for neuro is still burning.
Degree class has come to an end.
Am done with the final module and its exam.
Just waiting for results.
Body wise, still as terrible I guess.
Had been continuous eating and not exercising at all.
Totally given up on dieting.
Lolx.
Life should be spend more more beautiful and meaningful things than dieting.
Only a short admission to the hospital for a few days for investigation of my migraine.
Am so glad that it is just migraine and nothing serious as what my GP was worried about.
On just have to continue my daily dose of migraine prevention medications and normally, migraine-free for weeks or days before starting to have some bad attack again.
No personal life at all due to juggling with work and studies.
Continue to be my hermit crab at home.
Well, my true friends will understand me and that's all I need.
Only "romance" in my life is of my growing love towards my man.
Hehe~
He is the only one that I truly interested in now.
Hopefully, this interest in me can sustain and jealousy towards others because of him can reduce.
Feel so silly to get jealous because everyone including me knows that he will never become mine.
Haha.
Never mind, dreams are meant to be keep one hopefully.
For now, I shall go back and continue to struggle with my presentation for Journal Club!
I can do it!!!

2011's resolution!

2011-01-01T00:02:00.002+08:00

Happy new year, everyone!
Hope that all the unhappiness in 2010 will be replaced and forgotten in 2011!
Decided that I should not come up with a 2011 resolution for I've feel happy for myself.
Hence, I truly hope 2011 would be a better year for everyone.
Everyone would be happier with what they have or going to have.
Stay healthy so we can achieve whatever in life we want to achieve!
Thanks for being in my life.
Thanks for staying by my side.
Lastly, My Darling Jocie Chua is coming back!!!!!!

reflecting 2010

2010-12-31T23:19:00.002+08:00

Although I haven't been blogging much for 2010.
I think I should still do a relection.
I've been thinking alot these few days.
Thinking whether I've achieved anything in 2010.
Maybe starting with my resolution for 2010 would be a good way.

2010's resolution:
*Get a degree-
Well, successfully applied and currently doing. So, considered achieved!

*Regular exercising
Absolutely failed! Lolx!

*Lost at least 5kg- hopefully, to size 14 or below...
Absolutely failed too! Gained back some of the weight I've lost in 2009!

*Stop spree-ing so much
I think, partially achieved due to my degree because of financially constraint!

*Spend more time with my friends
This should be one of the easiest to achieved which I failed!
I became more homely than ever in my whole life!
I'm officially a full-grown 宅女 cum 干物女!

*Keep my hair till waist level (although not really within my control)
Lol~ Just measured my longest strand from my back, it is!

*Keep my rooms more organised
My mummy have achieved that for me!
HeHe~

*Practice my piano for at least 1hour every two days
Oops~ no time!
All time devoted to my degree~
No Life!

*Learnt at least 2 new classical music piece
Well, read the above reason and you'll know whether I've achieved it anot.
Lolx!

*Be more FEMININE!
I think I have.
My friends, you guys can decide whether I have achieved that.

So concluding from the above, I've actually failed most of the resolution.
But it's also one of the most fulfilling and happy year for me.
First, I've completed my advanced diploma.
Secondly, I've gained lots of new friends not only in Singapore but also overseas.
The overseas friends are the ones I treasured most other than my lovelies now with me~
They showered me with so much love than it surprised me...
Lastly, although I'm still not having much self-confidence.
But I felt very at ease with myself already.
So, I feel, 2010 is a good year for me.
What about you?

더멋진사람만날게~널후회게만들어줄게!

2010-11-06T21:30:00.002+08:00

Hey all, I'm back!
Have been missing in action for a long time since I've last blogged.
Nothing much about my life except work and school.
But I'm happy and contented about my life now.
Maybe because I've already poured out my bottled up feelings, I actually don't feel so bad when I saw him again.
In fact, I can walk up/past him confidently and ignoring him.
Lolx!
Below is a song I like alot recently.
It's called 'Go Away' by a korean girl group, 2NE1.
Super cool!
Love the lyrics~
It's girl power~!

fanscination~

2010-10-09T23:50:00.002+08:00

As my birthday drew closer, the less excited I feel.
Perhaps I have reached the age where by celebration is no longer need.
Some old fascination of mine since childish.
I used to think that spending birthday with the guy you love is sweet.
The day maybe begins with him sending a bouquet of flowers to your workplace if working, if not, sending to the house early in the morning.
Then, maybe go for a simple dinner outside or cook a simple dinner at home.
Seems like everything I asked for is so simple.
But yet, which guy on earth would bother how I feel or wanted?
I can't be bothered anymore.
I no longer feel thrill or excitment coming when my birthday is coming.
Just hope the day can pass smoothly.
Although I still wish one day my fascination will come true.

touched~

2010-10-01T04:05:00.002+08:00

Just finished reading a book by Jiu Ba Dao, titled Yue Lao.
It's basically talking about love but in another weird way.
The main male character was striked by lightning when he was proposing to his girlfriend.
Before he died, he requested to see his girl, to make sure she's safe.
And so, he got his reply as well.
Then the whole story begin on his journey as a ghost and how he became a Yue Lao so that he can go back to see his girl.
And, it's the love between them that touched me.
The guy was sure that this girl will be his wife since grade 3.
The girl never agreed to be with him although they have been very close.
At a point, it was explained that the girl hope the guy will just keep on wooing her for fear that he will dump her one day if she agreed to be with him.
And, along the way, things propped up and all.
Very touching story.
I cried throughout the 2 hours plus reading the whole book.
Very touched by the guy's love for his girl.
A very incidentally finding of a good book.

one song that i like...

2010-09-17T15:29:00.001+08:00

满园玫瑰我以为找到我那一朵
认真爱了却狠狠刺伤我的双手
责备什么人也没有用
玫瑰都红难免看错
望着天空爱是否活在童话里头
小王子说有些事流浪过才会懂
原来每颗心都有个洞
找不到真爱会一直寂寞

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属于我的612星球
好让我忍着痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦
一定会有一个人在等我
无条件拥抱着我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快请你等等我

擦干眼泪一个人漂流在这宇宙
小王子说爱一定开在某个角落
路上相爱的人那么多
我会幸福吗在什么时候

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属于我的612星球
好让我忍着痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦
一定会有一个人在等我(等等我)
无条件拥抱着我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快请你等等我

我但愿有一个人在等我
在属于我的612星球
好让我忍着痛也愿意往下走
不快乐至少要有梦
一定会有一个人在等我(尚在等我)
无条件拥抱着我的所有
相遇前我还要翻越多少山丘
花别谢太快请你等等我

This I truly believe...

a simple story

2010-09-04T15:55:00.002+08:00

I haven't blog for ages.
Busy with work?
Not really.
This year had been an emotional year for me.
For this little secret within me.
No one except my net friends have heard of this secret of mine.
Something that has been for years.
Something about me that I refuse to face.
For me, I've decided to come clean with it.
I wish it would not bother me so much.
Too much tears had been shed.
The cause of me being emo which people are puzzled about.
The reason why I would cry almost everytime I sang that particular song.

I knew E when I was 7.
Basically, we grew up together and his sister was my sister's classmate.
However, it was only when we were 11 and 12, then we grew closer.
Days were spent going home together, doing homework at his house or playing there.
I've always remembered how his house looks like till now.
The family love for animals.
Afternoon can be spent doing nothing as his place as he's always left alone at home.
Even if I'm not at his place, we would be on the phone.
Things were simple back then.
Till I realized that I like him.
I don't know why I have the courage to let him know that.
I literally told him that I like him.
Nothing went wrong in the process.
Except that he did not reply but we were still getting along.
I was satisfied with the way things were.
Until when we finished PSLE or somewhere along there.
All he did was ignored me.
For whatever reason, I never knew.
Cards written addressed to him never got any reply.
When he saw me, he would pretend that we don't know each other.
I'm curious about what happened that changed things.
I'm curious about his life when I'm not with him.

ALthough I cannot remember what characteristics of him that attracted me.
But I remembered that I like him.
And I STILL DO.
I always think that maybe I'm just 不甘愿.
But I don't think that can remind me of him for all this years.
I might have liked other people along the way, but none the same way as him.
I still see his parents very often.
They were still nice to me except for the fact that their son treat me as transparent.
I still like him which I don't know why.
I'm reminded of him too often this year.
It's getting abit out of hand.
I get heartache whenever I saw him.
I would pretend I'm fine till I hid behind close doors and cry.
Nobody knows.
I never intended for anyone to know.
But I want to get rid of this feeling.
I want to stop liking him.
I want to stop thinking about him all the time again and again.
I just want to know he's well.
I know it's silly of me to be "waiting" for him.
But I just can't help the way I feel.
I miss him.
I l........ him

oh yeah~

2010-07-23T01:13:00.002+08:00

I'm leaving on a jet plane in another close to 6 hours...
I'm excited...
It's nice to take a break from starting work from Advanced Diploma in a new ward.
New ward has been kind to me.
Hopefully it will maintain...
Hu Meow Meow, I'll buy pressies for u, ok!

Big fight~

2010-05-09T19:58:00.002+08:00

I made my mummy upset on mother's day.
I feel terribly sad about it.
My parents got into a fight because of me.
Because of my crazy idea.
I'm sad about it.
Sad about my short plan not being able to be fulfilled.
It's not the surface meaning of my short plan.
It's the deep thought of feelings, craving for freedom and release of emotions that made me insist on it.
The idea of short plan is crazy.
But anyway, it's not going to be done.
So be it.
I'm just sad.
I got enough of emotional rollercoaster.
Just ignore me.
Let me go back to my shell.

lightning

2010-04-10T20:43:00.002+08:00

Was "busy" with school work recently.
Hence, there's no updates here.
Got a bit emo today.
In fact, only after dinner.
Saw him again.
TWICE!
Damn sian.
I hate the response of my heart whenever I saw him.
I don't want to see him but I'm actually anticipating it.
I'm upset.
I think I deserve better than this.
More than 10 years already.
Time for a change.

2010-03-18T19:12:00.000+08:00

happy birthday to my DEAR!
i miss u so...

Happy for her...

2010-03-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

My dearie valval chong is finally attached!
Hehe~
I'm happy for her...
If that guy ever dare to mess around with her, I cannot guarantee what I will do to him!
Lolx~

I'm pissed off!

2010-03-04T00:20:00.002+08:00

I'm really angry!
Haven't been in such anger for a long time.
Feels like I'm insulted.
An idiotic CONSULTANT in SGH actually question the ability of my classmate and me.
Regarding what you may ask.
Regarding the bloody blood pressure taking!
And mind you, it's not the manual one, it's the machine one.
How idiotic could one be.
First, we were asked, "You know how to take BP one anot?"
We were shocked!
How could an advanced diploma girl not know?!
In fact, even the diploma first year students should know them by fingertips already!
So, being the kind us, we IGNORED him and continued to take the BP out of goodwill.
Then, when the machine is pumping, he asked another question that we really feel like slapping him.
He said, "You all put (the cuff) correctly anot? The arrow must be at the artery there one."
Can you imagine how we feel?
At that particular moment, I feel like scolding him back.
But because, it's not my hospital, I would not do it.
Because I will not see him again for the rest of my life.
So, chill!
Although after that when chatting with my classmate, my anger was so bad that.
I told them that I'm very tempted to hammer his head with the tendon tapper!
Damn that BALD consultant.
Let's see if you dare to look down on us again.
If it happen again, I dare not promise that my temper would not flare.
Afterall, I believe that we are also professionals.
Although, we are treated worst than maids!
Damn that BOTAK!

2010 CNY~

2010-02-16T00:01:00.002+08:00

Happy chinese new year everyone~
Had visited some of aunts yesterday and today...
Angbao for this year shrunk!
Anyway, everyone had fun and I think that's the main point!
Today, went to watch 14 blades with Teddy.
Bloody gross movie!
Had a good laugh about the Tuo Tuo girl and Teddy thinks she's ugly.
Lol!
We also went River Angbao, was quite boring because the stalls were mainly cultural and the same for every year.
When we were there, we saw this auntie that was overfriendly to us.
At first, I was approached by her to help her take picture.
But ended up, she requested for me to take with her!
So, Teddy took the picture which I feel too weird to see.
>.<
We both figure out that we feel weird because we were not as friendly as the auntie.
Home after the movie and we decided to watch other type of movies together.
I'm going to enjoy life now and not think so much.
By the way, I think I hurt his ego abit by not letting him treat for everything...

Attachment~

2010-02-10T22:47:00.002+08:00

Haven't been blogging for a long long long time!
This week had been spent on attachment with the Nurse Clinician from NNI.
I think it is a very good experience as even though when we are in the ward, we follow rounds.
But at a learning time like this, I get the opportunity to see the whole examination and all.
I got to learn the different type of assessment they would do.
See cases that I have never seen or heard before.
Gain knowledge from Nurse Clinician that would never be taught in school.
I really appreciate the opportunity and the effort my Nurse Clinician have towards "grooming" me.
Sadly, this opportunity is ending on friday and then, I will be attached to other wards or hospital.
Hopefully, it will still be as fruitful as this is.

Highest!

2010-01-15T23:49:00.002+08:00

Today has been a up and down day...
Down because the presentation that we spent long time doing and staying in school till 10pm to do is rejected by lecturer and have to re-do.
But the up is super encouraging.

Firstly, it is the result of my grade 2 theory test.
I've gotten 96 out of 100 marks!
Although abit disappointed that I didn't get full marks but I'm still very happy!

Secondly and also lastly is the result of my pharmacology test.
I've gotten 17 our of 20!
One of the highest(2 of us got same marks as highest) among the whole class!
Totally unexpected as I didn't prepare much for it!
Must continue to work hard, hard, HARD!

woah~

2010-01-13T23:30:00.002+08:00

Finally, had a gathering with ASH,mel xu and Hu meow meow yesterday...
Went to had popeyes~
So thankful to them for buying me pink mahjong tiles!
Muacks~

Anyway, went home and saw my wardrobe.
I actually got quite a number of clothes not worn yet and label still on!
Lolx~
Got about 3 tees, 5 dresses, 1 cardigan and 1 pair of pants.
All the above exclude my undergarments~
Woah~
But I still want to buy somemore clothes!!!
Hehe~

last day of 2009~

2009-12-31T12:17:00.002+08:00

It's time for me to review my new year resolution...

1)Apply for Advance diploma*
Achieved!
Shall work harder to continue!!!

2)Get back to regular exercising
Well, for quite some time~
Was swimming regularly before my mom got sick...
Hopefully, next year can continue

3)Get back to health (meaning, no more back problem! really hope no need to do surgery!)
I think is achieved already.
At least i no need to follow up with physio anymore.
Only occassionally the pain come back which I think is manageable.

4)Get new insurance policy of saving or emergency
Oops!
Not done!

5)Bring my parents holiday
No time and no money~~
So, not achieved~

6)Holiday with my whole family
As aboved!

7)Vacation with my girls
Definitely done!
Redang trip was a blast!

8)More meet-up with my friends
I think can consider achieve also.
Because I have make an effort to, right my friends?

9)Regular blogging
Definitely better than last year!
Hehe~

10)Lay my hands on more luxury goods
Partially achieved.
Only bought a pair of coach sunglasses and that's it!
Well, nothing caught my eyes this year.

11)Lose at least 5kg!
Completed!
Lost about 10-12kg this year...
Hehe~
Hoefully can continue and don't rebound back!
_____________________________________________________________________________________

My new year resolution for next year will be...

1)Get a degree
2)Regular exercising
3)Lost at least 5kg- hopefully, to size 14 or below...
4)Stop spree-ing so much
5)Spend more time with my friends
6)Keep my hair till waist level (although not really within my control)
7)Keep my rooms more organised
8)Practice my piano at least 1hour every two days
9)Learnt at least 2 new classical music piece
10)Be more FEMININE!

Hopefully, by next year at this time, I can proudly declared that all my resolution are achieved!

Twitters added!

2009-12-29T22:40:00.001+08:00

New application added to this blog!
Added my twitters~
Check at the link below it to follow my twitters!
I hereby ask all my friends who's following my blog to go join twitter too~~

Shiok!

2009-12-27T20:16:00.002+08:00

Just back from shopping with ASH.
Bought lots of clothing.
Spent $386.10 in total!
But very happy.
Got myself 2 corsets, 1 tee, 1 maxi dress, 1 cardigan and 1 pair of heels!
And also 3 bra and panties!
Hehe~
Had been crazy shopping this week...
Because I already bought 2 tees and 1 black dress on wednesday.
Really must control both my spending and my diet already.
Gambatte!!!

Merry Christmas everyone

2009-12-25T00:44:00.002+08:00

Merry Christmas.
Was supposed to be happy and was in fact happy.
Until on wednesday I lost my ipod.
Seriously dampened my mood.
Anyway, thanks everyone for their pressies.
I love the kipling waist pouch my sis got me.
Although it's not branded but it's enough for someone so stingy like her.
Lolx.
Anyway, what surprised me most is...
She offer to sponsor me for a new ipod!
So, should I get one???

a B!

2009-12-10T23:52:00.000+08:00

Just gotten to known today that my bio result for the ICA yesterday is a B!
I'm so happy!
It's the first time I've gotten such a good grade for bio pr science since secondary school.
I must keep up the good work!!!

Shopping Spree!

2009-12-01T23:41:00.002+08:00

Had a good time shopping with Hu Meow Meow today...
Bought 1 tube, 2 dresses and 2 tees.
We were happily shopping in Vivo and Plaza Singapura.
Lots of fun shopping and laughing!
All my stress gone~
Hu Meow Meow also must stay happy like this everyday, ok?
Must eat regularly also!
And for me, really must control my diet...
Cannot waste my money, especially because of my 79~~!
Lolx...
Only Hu Meow Meow will know what I'm talking about~
Must defeat the fact that go Advance Diploma will put on weight!

weird

2009-11-28T23:18:00.002+08:00

I think I'm pretty weird recently...
Have been having negative thoughts about man.
In the past, I would only not believe in true, everlasting love.
But now, I don't even have confidence in man anymore.
No idea why like that.
Maybe I'm having a good and happy time surviving without man and not even thinking about them.
It makes me feel good.
So good that I want to be so carefree forever...

Hooked!

2009-11-17T15:32:00.002+08:00

I'm currently hooked up to Autumn Concerto...
下一站，幸福...
Damn nice!
Haven't like a drama for quite a long time...
Van Ness's acting in this is remarkable!
Way better than all the others previously.
Double thumbs up for him.
Completely changed my mindset about him.
And also madly love 梁小乐！
Super cute!!!
Mi Xiu Mi Xiu! (Miss You)

Loves

2009-11-10T23:10:00.001+08:00

Bought a iPod touch today!
My first apple product.
Wasted lots of time playing with the itunes applications.
Now trying to catch up on my studies because I'm meeting the lovelies tomorrow!

Sweet dreams

2009-11-08T10:20:00.003+08:00

Thanks to all that have been concern about me.
I've calmed down quite abit.
Thought of a wonderful way to prevent confrontation with him and not affecting my studies.
Which is, studying in school till the library close then go home.
Anyway, had a wonderful dream last night.
Although the ending is terribly sad.
The very least I experience unconditional love through the dream.
And, nope, I don't know who's the guy but he is quite cute.
Lolx.
Let's hope that the dream will come true except the ending part.

Fucked up!

2009-11-04T20:40:00.002+08:00

I'm tired already.
Tired of always having to bare with him.
I have no idea what has he contributed to the family.
Taking things for granted and sponging off us is his favorite hobbies.
Now, he's upset that I spent MY OWN HARD-EARNED money to buy my things.
Why can't I buy things for myself that he can NEVER afford buy for me?
Now he's talking about selling the house.
Fuck him!
Throw me out for all you care.
And I'll see who is going to bother about you in future.
Go look for another PRC woman since you always talk about them.
Don't come back crying to us if she con you off all your money.
By then, I will not even want to take a damn look at you.
Utterly disgusted!
Maybe before you throw me out, I'll run away myself.
As if studying itself is not enough to bother my mind!

*Ps: Anybody want to take me in if he really throw me out?

Brewing...

2009-11-04T20:17:00.002+08:00

School have been fine so far.
Life is normal after going back as a student.
But I'm putting on weight due to the sedentary lifestyle!
Anyway, Hu Meow Meow is upset...
I don't know why...
But remember, although I'm not there physically with you girls.
If you guys needed someone to talk to.
You can still look for me.
I'm free every night to listen to you!
Miss all my friends!

Very upset

2009-10-29T21:26:00.001+08:00

I'm very upset with the sudden change in timetable.
I thought I was able to go my cousin's ROM next fri as my lessons was supposed to end early.
Until there's a sudden change in the timetable!
Very upset!

Mummy

2009-10-23T23:21:00.002+08:00

Mummy's back home!!!
Hopefully, I can concentrate on my studies.
Went to the temple after she discharge, I got a good lot.
Although I don't know what it says, but at least it says da ji!
Haha~
Calm my "stressed-out" nerves alittle bit.

First day of school after 2 years!

2009-10-18T22:53:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow will be the first day of school for my advance diploma.
Really scared as I don't know what to anticipate.
No lecture notes, meaning I have to study extra hard from the recommended textbooks.
Past few days was spent in re-reading my Martini as there will be a pre-course test.
Damn stress!
Haix.
Biology is my worst subject.
I hope it don't kill me again this time round.
Wish me luck!

Post-op

2009-10-05T23:53:00.002+08:00

Operations had been done for Mummy.
She's coping very well.
Not much complain of pain on her surgical site but more for her chronic OA knee.
She's got super high pain tolerance.
Refusing analgesics as much as she can.
My super Mummy!

Shopping

2009-09-30T00:05:00.002+08:00

Went for coffee after work with Charmaine, Chin Sian and Hu Meow Meow...
Laughed alot during the coffee session.
Super de-stress!
Then, went shopping with Hu Meow Meow and Chin Sian.
Bought a tube from Pull and Bear...
And my greatest buy from the island shop- a $89 white dress!
Abit regret but it's nice...
I want to lose weight!!!

Ah Kiat's wedding

2009-09-25T00:51:00.001+08:00

Just back from Ah kiat's wedding.
Damn sweet.
Everyone got to know the hopeless romantic side of them.
Saw the simple love between them and the respect they had for each other.
Super cute.
It seems like a party more than a formal dinner.
Congrates and all the best to them.
Hope he won't call in for FCL or paternity leave too often.
Lolx.

So happy....

2009-09-20T12:22:00.002+08:00

I finally meet up with my girls after more than 2 months.
Val came over for dinner, we webcam-ed Jocie till 12am++.
Wanted to go for movies or coffee after that but we don't know where we can go.
So, we end up watching my old Bridget Jones VCD and Val stayed over.
I miss Jocie so much!!!
Can't wait to see you back in Singapore!

HeHe~

2009-09-12T20:47:00.000+08:00

I've finally got my laptop!
My pink vaio!

$190...

2009-08-26T21:34:00.000+08:00

Went to the dentist today after my night shift today.
Cost me lots of pain and $190!
Had an injection and repair of 3 decay tooth done.
My right side of mouth, gum and tongue was damn numb even after the visit.
Now I finally know how my stroke patient that cannot control right side of face feel.
So scare that I will drool.
Anyway, after the visit, went to meet Sharon for fortune-telling.
Super accurate!
Scare Sharon and me with its accuracy.
Lots of things it said is very true.
It also said there's no fate in Teddy and me.
As expected.
Anyway, I've put everything down already.
I'm ready for a brand new start!
Got to save money!

Actually...

2009-08-23T21:06:00.001+08:00

I don't know what I want.
One of my patient passed away this morning.
It was a sudden collapsed case.
I can still remember holding his hands and he was still so alert in the morning although he can't speak due to his stroke.
Then, he just collapsed.
We did an active resuscitation as he has no status of DIL.
We brought back his heart rate, BP with CPR and drugs.
But we can't intubate him as it won't help much as it's a brainstem stroke.
And there's no spontaneous breathing when we saw him.
I'm sad.
Very sad.
There's alot of my patient passing away recently.
Either I was taking case of them the day before or the shift before they passed away.
It's depressing to work.
But I have to be strong.
For the sake of my other patients who genuinely care for me as well.
They put their total trust in me.
They express their concern towards me by concerning whether I can to go for my meal breaks and on whether I get to knock off from work on time.
They are sweet patients.
And I'm thankful for my patients for being to sweet to me.
So, I have to be strong for them.

Ps: After a depressing day, I've thought through long and hard regarding my feelings for Teddy.
It seems like I'm just too used to "liking" him instead of really liking him.
The feel is not there anymore.
We've changed.
I've changed.

Happy~

2009-08-16T15:24:00.000+08:00

This week had been spent slightly more interesting than previous week.
Though I've gotten UTI on friday!
Hurts like hell!
Seen a doctor who is cute in the walk-in clinic.
After that, dinner with Hu Meow Meow and Uncle Chai at Coffee club.
Then home sweet home from uncle chai after "shopping" at Ion.
And yesterday, went for a date with my Teddy!
Wahaha~
Although I don't really feel the vibe there anymore.
But he seriously become so much hotter! *blush*
Damn fit and taller than me already~
So manly now.
However, our date quite boring.
Because we can't get tickets to movie.
So I suggested to walk to the romantic walk somewhere near esplanade which Hu Meow Meow and ASH and I past by the last time.
But obviously, I didn't tell him where we were going.
And so, when we were reaching there, I changed my mind and got this crazy idea of walking around with the flow.
Haha~
Hence, we walked from Doby Gaut to somewhere near Tiong Bahru then took a bus down to Marine Parade.
Walked again along East coast beach.
Abit romantic...
Oops!
Chatted alot, caught up alot.
The fear of no topic was not there, so phew!
After that was home sweet home at around 1am++...
Hope he doesn't have a bad impression of me!

Happy 44th Birthday to Singapore!!!

2009-08-09T20:55:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Singapore!
I've not felt the spirit for many years every since I left school.
But this year, I felt strongly attached!
I even wore red(maroon) and white to work!
Haha~
Watched the National Day Parade with my parents in front of the TV.
We were commenting many things about it.
Especially me.
It brought back good old memories of me when I was in school being a Girl Guide.
The proud look on our faces everytime when we march pass other uniform groups be it during Speech day or normal training days!
It also reminded me how I used to memorize all the commands by heart as they were all in Malay and I was the only Chinese in the Guides when I first joined.
Haiz.
Those were the good old days!~
Haha~
Made myself sound so old.
But this year NDP is really nice!
Double thumbs up!
I think it's the way they presented.
Look more youthful than previous years.
More hip!
Proud to be a Singaporean on this day!

Unlucky!

2009-07-19T15:34:00.002+08:00

How can one get so unlucky?
I was down with tonsilitis in May and URTI now.
I can swear that my boss must be cursing at me.
But that's not my fault...
I didn't choose to have that!
Anyway, my cough and running nose haven't been subsiding even after seeing the doctor on friday and obediently taking my meds since.
Abit worried.
Especially when it's the H1N1 peak now.
Haix.
Worst thing is, my cousin and Dylan both got sick after coming into contact with me.
Pondering whether I should see a doctor again and request for a swab to be done...
Haix!
Me, sick "cinderella" still have to do housework...
When will my prince charming come to save me???

I'm scare

2009-07-07T21:12:00.002+08:00

I've never been so scare in my life.
Not when I had to live without my family when they left for UK to find my sister.
But I'm terribly scare now.
My mummy had been my pillar of support.
Now she's down, I'm lost.
I had to pretend I'm alright so that she won't be worried.
But the fact is, I'm scared to the core.
And on the other side, I have to reassure my mummy that she will be alright after op and not to worry about money and work issue.
Haix.
Family conference is tomorrow.
Will do it before I start work in the afternoon.
I'm worried that it's more than avascular necrosis.
Because I saw the aurora orders of bloods meant for carcinoma screening.
I'm scare.
Very very very scare!
I had never been more religious in my whole life than now.
All I want now is my mummy to get well.
With that, I can live on without any luxury goods or any gourmet food.

sidenote: I think I flunked my piano exams today. Interview for Advance Diploma on 17/7/09. Wish me luck!

2009-07-06T20:44:00.002+08:00

Dear friends,

I won't be updating my blog as frequent as before.
Reason being my mummy has been admitted to the hospital.
I will need more time to accompany her.
Please pardon me for disappearing.
I'm trying hard to cope with all the sudden responsibilities and things to do.
But I think I will manage.
Won't be able to spend time as much with you guys again.
Pray for me, my friends, that I'll survive through this period of "maturing" stage.

PS: I regret not asking her to show me her meds whenever she sees the doctor. I could have prevent it!

farewell for now, Jocie...

2009-07-04T22:30:00.003+08:00

Yesterday went to the airport to send my girl, Jocie to Melbourne to study...
Will be away from us for 1 and 1/2 years...
So sad...
Miss her badly!
Anyway, planning to visit her already.
Haha~
So, I decided to miss any holiday this year and save my money for next year.
Meaning no more luxury goods as well...
For the sake of my girl, I will bear it!!!

Love you girl!

Pulau Ubin...

2009-06-29T00:03:00.004+08:00

I went Pulau Ubin with my girls and Jocie's parents...
Had lots of fun eating the very cheap seafood, walking chek jawa and visiting the fortune-teller.
It's my first time there!
I think I'm fated to be with island!
Haha~
Always feel much happier than when I'm in cities~~

Me, Jocie and Val on the boat there~~

Our last pic together as an outing THIS YEAR...

I will miss Jocie Chua lots!

Val and I had made plans to visit her already...!

Haha~

Love u girls Lots~~!

A day spent...

2009-06-19T18:08:00.002+08:00

Woke up late this morning.
Was doing a jigsaw puzzle till almost 3am but completed it nevertheless.
Went for a swim, however, it start to drizzle after 5 minutes.
Fortunately, the drizzle only lasted for about 10min.
Then went back to swim.
But it's really not my day because the shallow pool got a group of teenagers that keep on blocking my way.
And when I went over to the deep pool.
Got a group of kids learning swimming came over.
Irritated by them because whole big bunch of about 20 kids keep blocking my way then I got to twist and turn all the time to avoid hitting them or kicking them.
Fed up!
Swam for about 1hour, washed up and went home.
Attempted to bake a cake but the cake mix I bought is horrible.
Will never buy that brand again.
Just finished cooking green curry for dinner.
Wondering whether I should go jogging later...
Should I?

Decision.

2009-06-17T21:50:00.002+08:00

I submitted my Advance Diploma application form today to Sister Peh.
For the past few days I've been thinking.
Is it really what I want?
But what I'm really sure is, I like what I am doing.
I like caring for my patient.
So now, whether I get in anot, at least I've given it a shot.
Another saddening news from work, we are back to 6days work week again starting from next week.
2 of our staff will be deployed to CDC.
Personally, I think that's a bad move.
For our ward, we might have alot of staff.
But they are mostly new graduates or staff that just promoted to SN and cannot function alone.
I think I'll vomit blood more often already.

PS:/ I want to go back Redang again in August and maybe go Bangkok/other places in October. Anyone want to join me?
Plan in Oct might be re-scheduled if I'm recruited for Advance Diploma.
Pray hard and cross my fingers.
Pingy hearts Redang...

Funny parts of Redang trip...

2009-06-14T19:46:00.002+08:00

Let's start about the resort.
The location of our resort is where they film the "Summer Holiday" Movie AKA Xia Ri Mo Mo Cha.
Hence, it was made famous by that show.
So, to honor it, the resort dedicated a channel to that movie.
Meaning, the movie will repeat and repeat in that channel 24/7.
Which also mean, the 3 of us has watched countless time of that movie in bits and pieces.

Next up, will be the beautiful beach.
The water is crystal clear and beach is white.
So, 1 fine day after snorkelling in the sea, we went to snorkel by the beach.
We also decided to bring along fish food AKA bread to attract the fishes.
The funny part was, initially the 3 of us was very excited till the moment we saw how the fishes eat the bread and how Val's hand got nibbled by the fishes.
So, we decided to change the way we feed the fishes from holding the bread with our hands to,
throwing bits of bread into the sea to feed them.
But it also mean, the fishes started following everywhere we go as they know we are providing them with food.

Next up is about snorkelling.
As Joc and I had never try snorkelling before this, hence, the 2 of us is abit scare despite being very excited.
When we snorkelled for the first time, the divers there did not teach us how to wear the goggles and snorkel.
Therefore the honor went to Val since she has past experience.
But somehow the goggles does not fit us and we had to keep adjusting up till the last snorkel trip we had.
So, you will see Joc and me snorkel for a while, rest and adjust our goggles and snorkel again.

Another interesting thing we had in mind was our first snorkel trip out to the sea.
At first, the 3 of us was just floating around the sea trying to look for fish or coral.
As we don't know about the place, so we saw nothing.
Until 2 divers which is also our lifeguard decided to guide us along by holding our hands and bringing us to snorkel at interesting places.
We were divided into 2 with Joc and me with the same diver and Val alone with the other.
The thing is, we brought along disposable waterproof camera and the camera somehow end up with the diver that took Joc and Me.
And he was very nice to keep helping us take pictures with corals and sea cucumbers.
Which also means, Val got lesser or no pics with corals at all.
Lolx.
Made her abit sore whenever we talked about it.

Then, the next embarrassing part is about me.
On our last snorkel trip which is also out to the sea, onboard got alot of people as they arrived for the first day and was very excited.
Hence, at that very trip, the resort people was very nice to prepare buoys with string attached at the back of the boat for people to hang on if they are scare.
But it became the "saving" tool for me.
Because it was the first time for those people to snorkel.
So, quite a number of them, leave the boat and got up after awhile as quoted from them,"Very scary, those that cannot swim should not go down."
When the 3 of us heard that, we were like... =.=
And so, not many people were in the sea.
Even there were people in the sea, they will scream for help, so the divers have to go save them.
Initially when we were in the sea, my "special friend" brought us to go see see around the sea.
After awhile, some people scream for help, so no choice have to save them.
But by then, we were quite far out in the sea and away from the boat.
Plus, the current that day was quite strong.
And when the the boat signal for us to return, we were like swimming our head out to go back.
Although we swam past many people that were too tired to swim back, I was still the last to go back onboard.
As a boat was sent out to fetch the "wandering" people.
Joc and Val were better swimmer than me, hence, I was left last wandering alone in the sea far from the boat when they already got up.
Luckily, got 1 macho diver with his flippers come and save me!
Haha~
Then, when I reach near the buoy, He asked me to hold on to the string and slowly go back by myself while he go see got anybody else.
But I think I was really too slow because I saw one of the boat driver come and pull the string and pull me back faster.
So, I was like taking dolphins like that back to boat.
Super fun, funny and also embarrassing as everyone was staring at me.
Haha~
I think that's about all.
I'll post up more if I remember.

Long post about Redang~~

2009-06-13T20:26:00.021+08:00

Long, long post about Redang...
Not going to post all pics but more of a timeline one.

And so, on 8th of June 2009, Val, Joc and Me took off from Seletar Airport to Redang.

Me, Joc and Val.

This small small plane that flew us to the wonderful land that gave us lots of wonderful memories.

View of the island from the plane.

When we touched down and checked out of the customs, we were greeted warmly by the staff from Laguna Redang Resort that was sent to pick us up.
We had to take a van to the jetty and take a speedboat to the other side of the island where our resort is located.

Us on the speedboat.

Sea of different wonderful shades of blue.

The sight of it immediately lifted our spirit up!

Upon checking into the hotel, as we were too late for the buffet lunch.

The staff there had pre-prepared our lunch so that we won't starve.

Initially, the 3 of us only thought of eating abit of everything.

But this was what was served to us!

Alittle too sumptous for the 3 young girls!

Haha~

But in the end, we also cannot finish any single dish.

After lunch, we returned to our room and changed to our swimsuits as we were so excited by the sight of the crystal clear water and clean white beach!

This is the place which we spent everyday even before we depart there back to Singapore.

Joc, Val and Me.

So, everyday is spent like a dream.

All we did was sleep, eat, snorkel/swim, eat, snorkel/swim, eat and sleep.

I lost track of the dates when we were there.

The crazy 3 doing star jumps at the beach!

We took numerous shots before we finally succeed~

Snorkelling is lots of fun.

I'm definitely returning there to look at turtles and sharks since we missed it this time round.

And since, a "special friend" agreed to be a "personal tour guide plus diver".

So, why not?

Haha~~

When night falls, this is where we will have our dinner.

Under the bright moonlight, with a live band playing beneath us, the sound of waves and sea breeze enveloping us.

How can we not love that place???!

Not to mention the romantic beach bar which we spent 2 nights drinking.

1 was a nice girls talk while the other, abit too awkward to remember.

But the tour guide from Johor Bahru was nice to be with us though he felt extremely uncomfortable with the atmosphere.

In fact, recounting back now.

I think I should be held account for the awkwardness...

>.<

Anyway, very soon, the days past by in a blink of eyes.

Can you tell that I'm super reluctant to return back to Singapore?

The weather is as gloomy as my feelings on the day of our departure...

Seriously, previously before the trip, I wasn't expecting alot from Redang.
I thought I'll be bored from just a beach resort with nothing there.
But frankly speaking, this trip really changed my mindset.
I'm in love with Redang, the Sun, the Beach and the Sea.

Snorkelling is more fun than what I had always thought to be.

I'll post more about the funny part on Redang in my next post~

I can't wait to return there again!

I'm in love with Redang!!!

2009-06-11T15:38:00.005+08:00

I'm back!!!
Though I wish I don't have to come back.
The few days there had been so much fun and relaxation that I've lost track of the date.
I want to go back there and snorkel as soon as I can.
Love the instructors who are divers too.
They are super friendly and nice!
And they will come and "save" me when I still stranded in the sea while trying to swim back!
Saw lots of corals, fishes, sea cumbers of different sort and all other things that I can't name.
I've sent my waterproof cameras for develop.
I'm so excited to see the photos that one of the divers took for me and Joc when I brought us by hand to explore the place.
I'm missing the Sun and the sea now!
Ermm... Maybe a fair share of hunk too!
HaHaHa~

Congratulations to Siti and Iskandar!

2009-06-07T21:25:00.005+08:00

This morning, was woken up by Serina's phone call.
Was to go Siti's wedding today but forgotten to tell her not following her and Mashita because I thought she got a date with her.
Apparently, all not free.
So rushed out of the house and reached there all from 1 hour after waking up.
Anway, the bride was super pretty and the groom very smiley handsome.

Dewi, Serina, Mashita, Me, Siti and Iskandar(Siti's husband)
The earliest group.
After that, they left for the groom's place while I hang around with the rest of the ward who arrive when they were leaving.
And the Hu Meow Meow and ASH came last!
Made me waited so long!

Me, Hu Meow Meow and ASH!

So while waiting for the newly wed to come back, we took a group shot!

10B with some missing staff~

Then, when I really got too tired from waiting plus need to meet my parents for dinner.

I decide to go off but at the same time, Siti came back!

Another group shot with the couple in a fresh outfit.

After photo-taking, was some speech and prayer time.

Followed by flower tossing time!

Unfortunately, all the single ladies got no chance because Sister Jayanthi took away ours!

Sobs sobs.

Have to wait for Wei kiat's wife already!

Haha~

Last pic before we leave.

She so pretty that she look like a wax model!

Tomorrow is finally the day!

I'm so so so excited.

The dream that we had talked for so long is finally coming true.

I miss and love u girls!

OVERSPEND!

2009-06-04T15:51:00.002+08:00

I'm really dead this month.
For the first time in my life, I overspend till I'm really broke!
Sobs Sobs.
No more outing for me.
Fortunately, I still got money inside coin bank to save me.
Anyway, had an eventful week.
Went out almost everyday.
I think that's the main cause for my overspending.
Never mind about that now.
I'm so looking forward to my Redang trip on Monday!!!
My Sun, Sea and Hunk!
Hahaha~

Plain boring

2009-05-28T19:30:00.002+08:00

My life has been very stagnant.
Nothing interesting, nothing new, nothing to blog about.
I even lost interest in using the computer.
Maybe because I've been using them all the time during work.
Hence, I want to avoid this machine after work.
Received news from my piano teacher, I've passed my grade 1 theory paper.
Passed with a distinction of 96/100.
It didn't excite me too much.
The grade 2 practical exam that is coming up is worrying me.
I miss my 2 loves...

Even though they are not mine.

Need to... Must do!

2009-05-23T17:44:00.002+08:00

I need to lose weight!!!
Getting fatter and fatter...
Even my fat buddy Val is also getting slimer....
I'm so sad.
Down with a fever from yesterday.
Tonsilitis again.
Sadded.
My mouth taste bitter from all that Amoxicillin and Doxycillin.
Haiz.
I'm so not looking forward back to work because of her.
She often makes me wonder whether I'm like her when I just graduate.

Mm...

2009-05-20T14:03:00.002+08:00

Who's free next tue?
I've been invited for a free complementary "make-over" photoshop.
They called me on my phone and I'm surprised that they know my name too.
Since it's free, might as well go and try.
My determination is very strong.
So, it'll be hard for them to try to sell me anything.
Haha~
Anybody want to or free to accompany me???

Proud.

2009-05-15T00:24:00.001+08:00

I'm proud that I woke up early for physiotherapy appointment.
Followed by swimming.
And I'm super proud that I went to the deep pool and swim!!!
Because I'm a hydro-phobic...

PS:/ No news on bear bear. He got stuck inside NS. Ha Ha Ha~

Don't know what to say

2009-05-05T21:24:00.002+08:00

He replied me again.
Below is his reply for me, some part are removed due to his privacy.
to imagine u popping out after all these years,
really brought back to those moments that ive seems to have lost
but desperately want to remember.
anyway judging by ur pict i can c ur doing very well.
And my reply is:
seriously, u nv left my memory at all.
all i can say is, what u see in the pics are sometimes what I've been trying very hard to put up.
i'm still the same girl u have known in the past.
*blah blah*
i would say, give me ur hp no and we'll catch up more on it.
all these waiting for msg is hanging me up.
haha~
=)
Seriously, I feel so shy!!!
I've never spoken to anyone like that before!
Oh my god~
Anyway, just saw Laura's pics in Hong Kong.
It reminded me the photos I should had posted like 5 months ago!
So, I'm uploading them now.

Depressing work.

2009-05-03T13:14:00.002+08:00

Just received the sms from Mel this morning.
Work will be shifted back to 6 days week.
And night shifts will be back to 3 nights per round.
What add on to the fire will be, according to Cat,
Annual Leave will not be granted for this year.
Meaning my Redang trip with the girls can't be done!
Despressing!!!
Even though the annual leave part haven't been confirm by the NOs of my ward.
But I think it will pretty sure come on.
I'm quite upset as to how anxious they are regarding this issue.
Clearing beds and emptying wards is understandable.
But extending work hours of nurses?
I don't see the point.
People will still take MC as and when they like so what's the point.
It only demoralised the nurses.
We are prepared for the battle ahead but changing things last minute is a terrible thing.
We already had to cope with different shift hours and now, with inadequate rest.
Wouldn't it make our minds and bodies weaker???
Haiz.
For the sake of our patients, we can only stand strong.
But who will bother the welfare of the nurses?

PS:/ Teddy replied! He said he's glad that I found him. Should I be happy with the reply or angry with the long waiting time???

febrile at 37.4?!

2009-04-30T20:40:00.002+08:00

My eye infection had worst.
Started from Sunday till today and counting on.
Hence, went to see the GP just now.
She took my temperature and said I'm febrile when my temperature is only 37.4!
Was thinking, that's not fever...
Anyway, got to rest my eyes plus plus.
If not the yellowish discharges will not stop...
Haiz.
Hospital in Orange Alert now.
Maybe we will all end up in suffocation.

Beach, Sun and Sea

2009-04-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

We had a great time yesterday at East Coast Park.
Though getting up earlier to prepare the food and all is very tiring.
But seeing everyone enjoying their food makes me really happy!
Mel meet up with me first then we prepare the venue.
Next, Cat and Shuhui came from work and Cat forgotten to bring trash bag!
Lucky her skin thick enough to ask from MacDonald's cleaner.
When Mel and me was walking back to our site after "borrowing" Mac's toilet,
we heard someone talking to us from the back...
It was the infamous CGT~~~
And so, he came, we all gossiped.
And he also contributed to some gossips.
And so, he left.
Haha~
But we had more fun after he left...
Was fooling around with ice cubes...*stare at Mel*
Then, packed up and we left ECP for Tampines.
Shopping around for about 2 hours and continued at my house for drinking.
Had lots of fun talking and drinking.
Everyone shared about their past, present and future.
I want more of all these nonsense!

Side note:
The swimsuit I bought online has arrived.
It's very low cut.
Abit regret buying it.
But Mummy say it's nice and ok.

mood swings.

2009-04-18T21:25:00.002+08:00

Recently, my mood swings has been very great.
No idea why.
I hope our beach, sun and sea tomorrow will help.
Today after work went to secret recipe with Cat for tea.
My chocolate banana cake is ultra yummy.
But I dislike the coffee shreds on top of my toffee twist.
Because I thought it was chocolate, so when I mixed it all in and drink.
Bitterness came from the bottom of my throat and upwards.
Had an enjoyable time chatting with Cat.
We must really do this more often!
It takes my mind off some stuff.
We also talked about some unequalness in the ward.
Like the NOs being bias on the staff of their race.
Nothing new but this time is really abit ridiculous.
Others are not "advisable" to apply for advance diploma because the staff that wanted to apply last year who apparently didn't apply will be sent this year.
Isn't it crappy?
Anyway, I will still go ahead with the plan I told Cat and Sister Layhoon(who is newly promoted as Assistant Director of Nursing).
No jokes about my future.
I care for my patients!

Angry.

2009-04-17T00:40:00.002+08:00

I was upset today.
By Uncle Chai.
Because he went and told the NNI Teams(all doctors!) that we asked him for picnic.
End up, some other people want to join.
And I'm angry because I don't like some of them there!
I will fly plane if some of them decide to follow!
Angry.
Plus my reputation at workplace is something wrong.
There has been alot of association between Uncle Chai and me.
Nurses part I understand because I know they are joking only.
But NNI doctors also like know something which I don't know.
This afternoon Dr Anne Ng was looking at me with a weird expression when she told me it's uncle who told her about the picnic.
Apparently, he told them over NNI lunch outing!
Crappy!
Don't know what are they talking behind my back.
Irritated by them.
Shall not blog further.

Happy.

2009-04-15T14:12:00.002+08:00

I finally bought myself a new camera!
It's a pink samsung NV9~
So happy right now.
I can now use it for the dinner and dance plus our beach, sun and sea!!!
Not to mention, the Redang trip with my girls!
And my leave for June is confirm.
So girls, I can definitely go now!
Happy happy happy~~

Ups and downs.

2009-04-13T22:49:00.002+08:00

Recently, my mood is really terrible like crap.
But I'm fine now.
At least I think so.
Never mind about that now.
Completed my night.
Was praying in the cab while on the way to work on Saturday.
Hoping that I'll have a easier night, I'll have more strength to face my sick patients.
The almighty above heard my prayers.
I'm so glad.
Anyway, completed my nights.
Went for facial and impromptu body massage.
Uber relaxing!
Haven really slept for 24hrs.
Will knock out soon...
I'm looking forward...

Touched.

2009-04-11T00:37:00.002+08:00

Was sms-ing Teck Chee in my previous post.
Was telling him that I was feeling hollow.
And when he asked why, I said I feel like there's no on I can fall on.
He said he will be there for me to fall on.
So, I asked, "Fall on you or onto the hard reality ground?"
He replied, "ha, on me."
When I told him that I really need that.
He said he's always there.
I'm like so freaking touched!
Even till now even though I'm starting to think that he could be drunk!
Hahaha~
At least he never breaks my heart.

Upset.

2009-04-11T00:03:00.002+08:00

Was upset about work recently.
But no matter how upset, my patients always manage to cheer me up.
However, for tomorrow.
I think no matter what happen can never cheer me up.
I'm going to work night with 17, KIV 19 patients with a HCA.
I can only blame myself.
Because NO gave me a AN that belong to the other team but the other team SN not happy.
So I return her.
I don't like being unhappy with me.
Don't like that feeling.
But am upset about myself too.
What can I do?
Was "confiding" to Teck Chee.
He said it's a virtue that I don't like to upset people.
Was also telling him that I don't like people assuming my recognition or knowledge because of my sister.
Haiz.
I'm so proud of my sister but I don't want to be her shadow anymore.
I don't get the recognition I deserve.
I even started to doubt the recognition I gained.
Haiz.
Guess, the one that knows most about me now would be Teck chee.
My Rubbish Bin Man...

fed up...

2009-04-09T23:56:00.002+08:00

Am really fed up with Joanna today.
Actually, not the first time already.
What made me angrier is people telling me she is new and that the ward is very busy.
Wasn't I new before?
Does that mean the ward wasn't so busy last time?
I beg to differ.
I can remember very clearly how I was being left to do 8 or 10 cases independently after 1 week.
And when I mean independently, there is really no help from my preceptor.
No that I'm blaming her.
But I'm upset by the biasness now.
I was left crying home alone everyday, thinking why did I function so badly.
In the past, I had to rush all my work before handing over report and serving meds at 1pm.
Because the afternoon staff will come around 1.30pm to check their IMR.
And if, you are not ready by then, you will have to face alot of black faces.
But now, the afternoon staff will have to help you serve.
What made me angry is, her lack of activeness in doing things.
She just assume people will do them for her.
Angry... angry... angry!

Jealous~~

2009-04-08T20:31:00.002+08:00

Recently, I realised I'm getting jealous easily.
Not for a particular person.
But for particular things.
Like seeing couples on the streets.
I get jealous because there is someone there.
Then, I get jealous of Yuki.
So envious of her becoming a mummy.
I also want to have a child/children of my own.
Playing with Sarah and Dylan only make my maternal instincts come out more.
Jealousy is consuming me nowadays.
Need to re-prioritise my things again.
Getting hitched is definitely not the top of the list even though I very much want it to be.
Lolx~
Wondering shall I wait for Cat and Mel for MSN again tonight???
Need to work tomorrow.

giddiness and dizziness...

2009-04-08T14:21:00.002+08:00

Woke up early despite sleeping late last night.
Had my piano lesson this morning.
So tired.
But I'm glad that my piano skills is not as bad as what I thought would be.
Had been slacking off it abit too much.
Lolx~
Tomorrow will be work, work, work...
Can I don't go back and work???
Anyway, things had been finalised.
We are happy about it.
Abit kiasu of us to plan so early but who cares?
I'm looking forward to it!

crap...

2009-04-07T23:42:00.001+08:00

Still talking to Cat and Mel on MSN.
Full of nonsense.
Haha~
Want to write something in blog but got no substance.
*screams writer's block*

yeah~~

2009-04-06T20:00:00.002+08:00

Cat and I just finished our chat on the facebook...
We are planning for a picnic!!!
And we decided to be 18/4...!!!
I'm so excited.
As we are both morning shift and ASH and Mel haven't confirm their shift with us.
So, we have yet to decide on the venue.
But the tentative people we are asking is,
Cat, Mel, ASH, Me, Dr Xu Huiying and Dr/Uncle Chai (as requested by Cat!).
But i think there will be more to come!
Am so excited.
Shall go and practice my piano because uncle is chasing me to go and do so...
=p

completed!

2009-04-02T21:08:00.003+08:00

YEAH~~
Finally completed my long long stretch of working days and tomorrow is my rest day.
So tired.
Anyway, today went over to the male team to work.
Quite ok, can consider switching since Charmaine and Cat Hu keep asking me to go over.
Yesterday, after work went shopping with Cat Hu and Mel Xu.
Gossipped alot and laughed alot.
So bad of us to laugh about "Uncle" Chai (Oops~).
First to start the shopping frenzy person is Cat Hu.
She bought a bag from Longchamp that's $200++.
Then, after dinner at Din Tai Fung.
I bought my super big tote from Lacoste (mistaken as crocodile by my dad).
For about $139 after discount.
And my dinner and dance dress from Dorothy Perkins.
We decided not to go with the theme Heroes and Villains.
Hopefully, nobody will wear the same dress as me.
Mel Xu also bought a short dress from Dorothy Perkins for dinner and dance.
Then, she bought a $199 heels from Zara.
Crazy....
But it really look nice on her.
In the end, among 3 of us, I think my pocket is least burnt.
Haha~
Am so exhausted now.
Plus menses decided to come.
Freaking early.
That explain my outbreak of pimples and irritation.
Looking forward to more shopping.
Looking forward for a new love...........

entry.

2009-03-31T00:01:00.002+08:00

Nothing new to update.
Work is freaking busy.
And I mean REALLY BUSY.
But fortunately, I've got nice colleagues that helped me.
All thanks to them.
Feel very bad to my junior today.
She was thrown to send my 2 DIL patients consecutively.
When she is finally back, she can barely go for half and hour break.
Then she has to come back to do turning.
So guilty.
But lucky, she is very understanding.
I'm tired.
I'll hold on.
3 more working days till my day off.
Gambatte!

donuts crave~

2009-03-23T16:52:00.002+08:00

Finished my round of nights yet and again.
Still the same.
But on the second night, Dr Chai really bought donuts for US as promised.
When we went St'James on fri, we were still talking about him.
Because Cat Hu say he is like Dr Hooi.
Super duper stingy.
Haha~
Apparently not!
So, don't judge a book by it's cover.
Don't judge a 'uncle' by it's looks.
Lolx.
=X
But this morning, came off quite late.
Pass to Hoilin till 0800hrs.
When I send patient down for ECT, she is still checking her IMR.
Anyway, stayed back to transcribed the nursing kardex.
And Dr Chai happened to be making round, he thought I still writing report.
Tell me anyhow write then go back.
HaHa~
I told him to see whose the SN I passed to then know why I still stayed back.
And by the way, am not writing report.
Where got so slow.
Haiz.
By the time I got home, so dead tired that I felt asleep till about 3.
Plans about beach gone.
Will go some other day.
Still very sleepy and hungry...

upset.

2009-03-19T22:45:00.002+08:00

Made a terrible mistake at work today.
Depressed.
Everyone around me doesn't seem to be much affected.
But I'm soaking myself in self-blame.
Hopefully everything will turn out alright.
After a terrible day at work, got this irritating aunty at the bus interchange.
While waiting for bus, she keep on squeezing nearer and nearer to me.
Then, normally, bus drivers will check their bus and everything before they leave.
So, we will wait for the uncle to call us to board the bus.
But this irritating senior citizen keep on asking the guy first in the line to board the bus.
Even when he told her the uncle say cannot.
She then say why cannot board, the driver is there why cannot board.
When the guy fed up, attempt to walk towards door to board.
The bus drive gesture with his hand that not for boarding yet.
But yet the aunty still insist on boarding.
Because she is next to me, I removed my headphones and tell her that the bus driver say cannot board yet.
Then, she say how I can hear the uncle say cannot board.
She say she stand next to me cannot hear, how I hear.
By then, I'm quite fustrated already, so I said the bus driver gesture with the hands.
Yet, she still don't believe.
Somemore, she said, her group of people are old already and carrying heavy stuff.
Sort of like we don't allow her to board.
So, I'm super duper irritated.
I tell her, don't believe you go and board yourself!
Then, the moment she move forward, the bus driver come down the bus.
She doesn't seem apologetic.
And when the bus driver come back and say can board.
She and her group of friends ignored us who was in-front of them and board the bus first.
It's not like we can't let them board first but this type of attitude.
After one whole day of work and all this stupid things happened!
Irritating Specimens!!!!!!
*screams into the air~~~~~~~~~*

PS:/ No offence to all senior citizens, was just happened to be irritated by this particular one!

Cravings.

2009-03-18T22:00:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday to Him...!
So much things I read on the papers about him.
I realised without me knowing, I drifted further and further away from him.
Time to move on, girl.
Anyway, was bugged by Mel to blog.
Nothing to blog about.
Just time my mood is extremely good today.
Because it's his birthday!
Haha~
Went around telling my colleagues.
All cannot stand me.
Recently, was having this huge craving for donuts.
It got so bad today that I influenced Dr Xu also.
Haha~
Then, we tried to psycho Dr Chai to buy.
Too bad, we failed.
Fortunately, after work, I spread the craving to Serina as well.
Hence, Serina, Honglan and me went to Donut Factory.
So satisfied!
Reached home, Patchy is already waiting for me.
Bro leaving for US tomorrow.
So, Patchy will be with us for 3 weeks again~
Such a attention-seeking darling!

Ps:/ Maybe I should starting widening my social circle.

pointless.

2009-03-10T14:33:00.002+08:00

Meet up with my girls to pay for the Redang trip.
Am so excited.
I can't wait to run away with my girls.
We had a nice night chatting at Bakerz Inn and shopping at Body Shop.
Haha~
Next day, was went to some omy award thingy with Mel Xu.
Actually, the night before, I was getting alittle emo.
And was thinking of not going.
But I think I'll definitely regret if I don't go.
So, been there and done whatever I would have done.
My leg was cut there.
Bleeding was though it was my heart.
Very emo about him now.
I'm confused about my feelings for him now.
Too much and too deep.
TOO WRONG.......

I wished I'm happier...

2009-02-22T00:35:00.002+08:00

Back from a "late" movie with my girls.
Pink Panther 2 is so funny.
Laughed alot.
But it made me felt more empty after the movie.
Another reason is that the girls are moving on.
Yet, I'm stuck on the same spot twirling.
What should I do?
I'm so confused and lost.
Nothing seems to make me happier other than Dylan and Sarah.

Don't wanna go to work

2009-02-17T22:08:00.002+08:00

Had finally changed my blogskin today.
Something happened to the last one and I'm lazy to rectify the problem.
Anyway, the new one is very pretty.
I love it!
On PM shift cm..
How I wish I don't have to work.
On a happier note, I'm go holiday with my girls in June!!!
Miss u, girls!

worn out.

2009-02-14T21:43:00.002+08:00

The more I know, the more upset I am.
How I wish I can ignore people thinking about me.
So depressed everyday.
Feel so empty.
Everyday can only retort to playing mahjong on viwawa...

Aching back.

2009-02-04T21:22:00.002+08:00

My back hurts.
So bad that I took sick leave today.
I thought the celebrex the ortho doctor prescribed yesterday will help.
But it doesn't.
I was crying in pain on my way back home.
My mummy was also freaked out when I was crying badly on the sofa.
I can't take it anymore.
I hope I can stop taking painkillers!

upset.

2009-01-31T22:15:00.002+08:00

My back pain is getting worst.
Despite having a good massage with Mel.
Had a disappointing day at work.
But I'm really thankful to those who had helped me.
Arigatou!
I'm getting more emo.
What should I do?

weet~

2009-01-24T01:57:00.001+08:00

Pay check is in!
I so wanna go shopping!

i wanna go shopping...

2009-01-19T14:15:00.002+08:00

As titled.
Had been surfing the internet for clothes.
The plus size one-Divine Cottage I went is really good.
The owner is so friendly and helpful.
Saw another website called Lavender Closet.
Haven't buy anything from there yet because they got a shop at Bugis Street.
Feel like popping over.
And also another shop at Marina Square called Attitude Plus.
I so so so want to go shopping!
BUT!
I got no time.
Will start night tomorrow.
Finish on saturday.
Will be going for my pedicure tonight.
Haiz.
I so wanna go shopping!

sleepy

2009-01-10T23:35:00.002+08:00

I'm so tired.
Yet so determine to blog.
I must keep to my resolution!
Anyway, work is busy.
So after work, heck it.
Had fun at the level 10 party.
Took lots of red wine.
I think I finished close to a bottle myself.
Was super flushed according to everyone there.
But rest assure, I'm definitely not drunk.
I want the pics but there are all in Ratna's camera.
Shall wait for her to upload in facebook.
Now at my sister's place again.
Enjoying vodka with sprite and cuttlefish with my brother-in-law.
Blissful life.
How I wish no need to work!
However, no need equals to no money!
So I must work~~

PS:/ I received my online clothings. I love the shorts to bits!!!

irritating.

2009-01-06T21:15:00.002+08:00

Is it me, the computer or the server?
I had to refresh so many times before I can log into blogger and blog.
Anway, yesterday went shopping with Yuki.
Spent quite abit again.
We didn't really shop because we were rushing to sing karaoke.
Just suddenly got this urge to sing.
So we went partyworld.
Took photos but unable to upload.
I'm at my sister's place again.
Something happened to her maid and they had to send her back.
No idea what happened.
She haven't tell me yet.
Anyway, going back to work tomorrow.
Sadded.

PS:/ I can't wait for my online buys to arrive!

happy girl.

2009-01-04T21:22:00.006+08:00

I went shopping today.
And I walked into...

and bought,

Yes, I finally bought my speedy!!!!!!!
Wahaha~
Such a happy girl now!

What makes me a happier girl is,
I walked into this shop after LV,

and bought,

A Burberry London Sling bag!

*Scream in happiness*

I'm so happy.

I also bought 2 pairs of denim skirts from Dorothy Perkins,

1 pair of pants from River Island and

1 dress from Nichii Fashion City.

2 Shorts and 1 tee from online.

And there's more to come, because I'm going shopping with Yuki tomorrow!

I wish I'm so happy everyday.

lazy

2009-01-03T22:45:00.002+08:00

Mel Xu say my blog entry very boring.
What to write?
Everyday is about work and work is boring.
So, I posted my favourite photo we took throughout Hong Kong trip.

My parents and me at the Victoria peak.

It was taken by a caucasian man who volunteered when he saw my Dad taking picture for me and mummy.
So nice of the guy, right?

PS:/ I'm bored and am getting fatter! I wanna go shopping!!!

Dark rings.

2009-01-03T02:04:00.002+08:00

Alright, I'm back to blog.
Seriously, I don't know where I should start with.
Lost contact for so long that there's too many things that I should blog.
Eh, I think 1st thing should be Yuki and Brian's wedding.
I was the sister that day.
Had fun, was upset and finally drunk!
Haha~
Side note, I caught her hand bouquet!
Unfortunately, no guy yet.
Next up was Mel Xu's birthday.
Slacked at her place before the thing started.
Helped her plucked eyebrows and put make-up.
We all had fun eating and gossiping.
Don't be upset by what your relatives said.
Then, up next would be my Hongkong trip with my parents.
A full expenses paid trip for my parents by me and my sis.
Was super fun and tired that.
Really glad that my parents enjoyed this free and easy trip that I organised from scratch.
Following that, would be Christmas!
This year christmas, I had total of 4 logcakes!
1 from the ward, 1 from my sis's gathering with her friends, 1 from my family christmas dinner.
And last from my uncle's place christmas party (it's also the best!).
Well, this year christmas, I enjoyed throughly and fully.
Attended the ward christmas party.
Love the box of M&S belgian chocolate biscuits from Sister Peh.
Then, christmas dinner at my sister's place on christmas eve.
Took lots of alcohol!
Rush to sister peh's house after dinner.
They all said I look drunk.
But I don't think I am.
BTW, we played MJ and I won abit of $$.
After leaving sister peh's house, rushed off to movies with my girls and Roxanne.
Hope they love their presents as much as I love theirs!
After movie was home.
Christmas party at my uncle's place was a cosy affair.
After that, nothing much for me except work and more work.
Countdown to 2009 in the ward.
Serina and I self-entertained and took pics.
Anyway, I will upload all my pics all in a shot!

2009 resolution:

Apply for advance diploma
Get back to regular exercising
Get back to health (meaning, no more back problem! really hope no need to do surgery!)
Get new insurance policy of saving or emergency
Bring my parents holiday
Holiday with my whole family
Vacation with my girls
More meet-up with my friends
Regular blogging (Lolx!)
Lay my hands on LV Damier Neverfull(not available in sg yet)
Lay my hands on LV Damier Speedy
Lay my hands on Gucci Tote
Lay my hands on Coach Juli sneakers

unlucky!

2008-11-16T02:36:00.001+08:00

I'm super unlucky can!
At the start of the shift, I actually got secretions pouring down my pants.
I was like trying to suction my patient before feeding her.
But unfortunately, the suction bottle wasn't fitted properly.
And so, the whole bottle of secretions poured onto my pants.
Now, the whole night I've got to wear my own jeans and work through the night.
*screams!!!!!!!!!*
So very very very the unlucky!
Aaargh!

hungry...

2008-11-15T02:31:00.003+08:00

Am on night again.
This time round with catherine, ang shu hui and melissa xu.
Early in the night we started talking about breakfast already.
Now so hungry.
I only got my cappuccino flavour cream wafers.
Sobs.
No home-made bread this time round.
Hungry hungry.

staying up late.

2008-11-06T01:37:00.002+08:00

Was my sleeping day yesterday aka a few hours ago.
But didn't get to sleep much.
Had to wake up in the afternoon for my physio appointment.
Next, will be to my sister's place.
Darn upset with the cab drivers.
From hospital back home to collect my handphone that I forgot.
The guy act smart.
Ask him turn in after traffic light, he drove past it.
I had to walk back in.
Then, from my place to my sister's place, same thing happened!
The uncle say he drove too fast and didn't heard what I said.
Upset and disappointed.
Third bad experience with cab drivers.
Anyway, recently had been staying over at my sister's place.
So, nothing much in my life.
My lower back pain is improving.
Trying hard on my strengthening exercises.
I want to go shopping.
The last time I've shopped is 9 days ago.
Felt so distant!
But I go money.
Sobs~

another note...

2008-10-19T23:04:00.002+08:00

Nothing better to do.
Anyway, my newly cut fringe is drawing alot of different comments.
Although I've been having this type of fringe since I cannot remember when.
My sis say I looked nerd.
My colleagues say it's cute.
So weird, right?

On the other hand, this pic really look nerd.
Lolx~~

PS: I love this stage cap that AlecSFren girls bought me!!!

As promised.

2008-10-19T22:12:00.003+08:00

The pics as promised by me although it's late!
Lolx.

My birthday dinner with my family!

Partyworld celebrations!

Lastly, the Singapore Flyer!

I know the Singapore flyer one is abit noisy.
But I'm sure everyone can bear with it!

Thank You Thank You!

2008-10-13T00:24:00.002+08:00

I'm popping by to say a big thank you who made it the last fri!
It was a blast~
At least to me...
I just hope I'm not a big host!
It was really really a special night for me!
Thank You once again!

PS: Will post up pics real soon!

All excited!

2008-10-09T14:49:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's the big celebration for my legal 21st birthday.
Am so excited and looking forward to it.
Officially on leave from tomorrow till 17th.
Yesterday's my sleeping day, had been staying over at my sis's place since.
Babysitting Dylan and Sarah.
Lots of fun!
Waiting for Sarah to call me Yi Yi.

Ps: I know I'm rude at times. But that's only when I'm provoked or agitated. For that, I apologise.

Joyous day~~

2008-10-01T21:54:00.003+08:00

Ms Sarah Chia Jia Qi is born on this wonderful day~~
And coincidentally, it's CHILDREN'S DAY!!!
Love you lots lots, Sarah...
You're so cute!
Yi Yi pray that you will have big big eyes and long long lashes like Yi Yi.
So when it add on to your dimples, you will be a drop dead gorgeous girl!
Muackz!

Anyway, the next issue.
In response to Alice.
Yes, I was wrong not to feel sorry.
And yes, you do have all the right in the freaking world to demand an apologize.
But, why didn't I do it?
That's because of your attitude.
So sick and tired of telling once and again and again.
You never ever take advice into your ears.
Yet, you are remembering all the little things people made you do.
That's crappy.
I believe no one should be called and disturbed on their day off.
Just to get a fucking told-off!
So what a transport is book early?
I've done my every part that I could to contact everybody for their memo.
DO NOT blame me for the medications.
You can always get the Ah Mah to go collect.
Not my fault if the medications is given late.
And if late, there's always a solution to a sticky situation.
Judging from the people from the ward.
The most I get is a nag from them the next day when I returned back to work.
People grumble and forget.
Remembering them won't make you a smarter person.
A smart person thinks of a solution to a situation not a person to blame when something occurs.
Tongues are wagging in the ward.
They were saying that I was the only friend of Alice in the ward.
So now, after all she had done to me.
What will become of her?
I don't care anymore.
Because I'm just another crap person that my advice fell on deaf ears.
No point wasting my breath.
I always feel sorry for every single mistake that I've done.
But for the kind of treatment that I received.
It had made it hard for me to accept.
The only one that I would feel sorry to is Sister Peh and pt's son.
To hell with the world!

Whole load of work...

2008-09-10T23:23:00.002+08:00

Went to my sis's place after my piano lesson in the morning.
After lunch, accompany my sis go cut hair at Sun Plaza.
While she's cutting hair, I went shopping.
Bought a super RETRO dress for my birthday celebration.
Well, I'm the one who set the theme, so must comply to it.
Evening, after dinner at my sis's place.
We all went to causeway point walk walk.
Then Mel Xu, came and join us.
After my sis's family left, we went back to causeway point to buy my shoe.
Crapped all the way...
When going back home time, I couldn't resist the temptation to cab home.
So sinful.
I lost count of the time I cabbed home this month.
Anyway, most of the things are settle already.
Now only haven't distribute the invitations.
Hopefully, everybody I invited is coming.
Spent a long time preparing the invitation cards.
Doing night shift again tomorrow.
Sadded.

x___Because you said you love me___x

Lolx~

2011's resolution!

reflecting 2010

더멋진사람만날게~널후회게만들어줄게!

fanscination~

touched~

one song that i like...

a simple story

oh yeah~

Big fight~

lightning

Happy for her...

I'm pissed off!

2010 CNY~

Attachment~

Highest!

woah~

last day of 2009~

Twitters added!

Shiok!

Merry Christmas everyone

a B!

Shopping Spree!

weird

Hooked!

Loves

Sweet dreams

Fucked up!

Brewing...

Very upset

Mummy

First day of school after 2 years!

Post-op

Shopping

Ah Kiat's wedding

So happy....

HeHe~

$190...

Actually...

Happy~

Happy 44th Birthday to Singapore!!!

Unlucky!

I'm scare

farewell for now, Jocie...

Pulau Ubin...

A day spent...

Decision.

Funny parts of Redang trip...

Long post about Redang~~

I'm in love with Redang!!!

Congratulations to Siti and Iskandar!

OVERSPEND!

Plain boring

Need to... Must do!

Mm...

Proud.

Don't know what to say

Depressing work.

febrile at 37.4?!

Beach, Sun and Sea

mood swings.

Angry.

Happy.

Ups and downs.

Touched.

Upset.

fed up...

Jealous~~

giddiness and dizziness...

crap...

yeah~~

completed!

entry.

donuts crave~

upset.

Cravings.

pointless.

I wished I'm happier...

Don't wanna go to work

x_Because you said you love me_x